Baby Steps

Charlotte's operating manual was lost somewhere during the surgery and they have yet to find it. The nurses are not sure it will be found; regardless of that issue they are still indicating that we are going home on Friday morning. We haven't even had to take a test!!! I guess they figured Anne and I understood sex ed from high school and by carrying around the pound of sugar (or egg for some of you) that we qualify to walk out the door tomorrow with another human life. The only reason we are still here seems to be that my transcripts from England have not arrived yet. Please keep us in your prayers as we get home tomorrow with the little one - she has no clue what she is getting herself into!!

On a more serious note, it seems that little by little the parenting plan is starting to be revealed. Cliff Notes so far:

1. Baby cries - try to do something to make her stop
2. Baby cries again - try to do something else to make her stop
3. Baby cries again - try to ignore her (note - she does not like this)
4. Baby cries again - pretend that you know how to breastfeed
5. Baby stops crying - thank you Lord!
6. Baby cries again - call the nurse and tell her you need more ice water (then when she comes you know that she will try to do something)
7. Nurse changes diaper - ask her how she knew that was the source of tears
8. Nurse laughs and walks out - (yep you guessed it) BABY STARTS TO CRY
9. Repeat steps 1 through 6 (inserting prayer between each one knowing the nurse is one of God's angels)

Besides the above, everything is going great!! This whole thing is really easy and I am sure that Obama and team will try to eliminate the tax exemption soon to pay for what "He Can". We love our little girl to death and hope that we will soon figure out what it is that she needs from us and when she needs it. "What to Expect when..." is a nice idea for a book but completely unrealistic. I will sell you our copies if you are interested, do not even think of buying them new!!

When Anne wakes up to read this post she may change the password for our blog so that I never have access again, thus I have included the below text from my lawyer to avoid potential lawsuits.

** Posting Notice: this was another unedited post by Charlotte's father. Soon to be parents should ignore any context related to raising your future child. Current Parents should call the hospital and tell them to keep us for another few weeks. **