I thought I loved you then...

So far, our blog hasn't consisted of many, if any, gushy writings. But when Brendan and I set out to start keeping this blog, we did so with the intention of sharing what God is doing in our lives.

Well, this past week Brendan has been on a business trip to Hong Kong. And despite our Skype-ing abilities, we haven't been able to talk much. The 12 hour time difference has been very awkward...my morning is his evening and vice versa. That sounds simple enough except when you factor in that Brendan is out to dinner in his evenings and I've been out of the house for most of mine, so there haven't been many times when we've been able to connect.

In addition to not getting the opportunity to talk much, I think the closer we get to my due date (we're in the 3rd trimester now!) the more I am cherishing the alone time I get with my husband...its becoming more real. So, I miss him more this week than I have on any of his recent travels.

That's not the end of my gushing though...actually, it brings me to the point. In the past few days Brendan and I have been apart, God has given me a new perspective on how much our love has changed in the 6 years since we met. I can't say I gained this perspective in my alone times with God. In truth, it started while listening to a country song! I don't listen to much country anymore but happened to in the past few days. Some of you may already know where I'm headed based on the title of this post..."I Thought I Loved You Then" by Brad Paisley. Yep, I can be a sucker for sappy country songs.

What I began to be so amazed by was how much God has changed and molded Brendan and I's love for each other! I really have to laugh at what we thought was "love" when we first said those words to each other 6 years ago. I was running from my relationship with the Lord...trying to control my life my own way. Brendan believed in God, but hadn't placed his faith in Him. We were both very far from the Lord when we met, but God was pursuing us!!

What I thought was love for Brendan 6 years ago, and even 3 years ago when we married, is nothing compared to the love I know now that the rock and cornerstone of our marriage is Jesus Christ. It is so much more than some feeling of happiness that I can't explain, or wanting to always be around him (because there are days when I don't!), or just thinking that he's my best friend who I want to spend the rest of my life with. No, the love I know for him now is a desire to love him unconditionally because that's the way God loves me. It's not easy, but its a whole lot less selfish than the love I used to have for Brendan. Our love, I've learned, isn't really about us at all...its about God and about others coming to know Him because of this unselfish love they witness in mine and Brendan's marriage.

I thought I loved him then....but I really had no idea what true love was. I can't wait to see how our love continues to grow, especially with the addition of a new family member to share that love with!